


Waiting For You

by Crude_masterpiece



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Dementia, Don't wanna spoil, Hate me all you want, I need lots of fluff after this one, I'm so sorry I am horrible, M/M, Modern AU, One Shot, PTSD, Pining, Trauma, Unrequited Love, amnesiac heichou, ereri, eruri - Freeform, major plot twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7254856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crude_masterpiece/pseuds/Crude_masterpiece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one-shot in which an impatient Levi waits for a very late Eren. In which Erwin stalks him, for justifiable but underappreciated reasons. In which Hange anticipates for drama to unfold with a heavy heart.</p>
<p>In which people wait, but for different reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

> *Squeals in fangirl mode* Yaassss it's done it's done I finally wrote my first fic! It just has to be SnK, hands down. But I’m still very worried about posting this on a03 because everybody writes so well and I'm just... ehhh....  
> Also sorry if OOC/plot too cliche/grammatical errors etc.

Doorbells ring as Levi enters a quaint little cafe just outside of town. As soon as the door swings open, a gust of warm air greets him and sweeps away the cold winter wind from his shivering hands. The enticing smell of coffee grounds wafts into his nose, and he subconsciously inhales as he searches for an empty table. 

There, the farthest corner. As Levi manoeuvres his way to the small round table, he is more than aware of the suddenly subdued chatter of other customers. A few pairs of eyes following him, a sudden burst of laughter quickly muffled by a hand, hesitant murmurs that resume almost comically when Levi scrutinizes them with that murderous look of his.  _ God I hate humans _ , Levi thinks, disgruntled and oblivious to the fact that he is part of mankind.  _ All they do is invade my personal space. Screw you, you and you. Screw everyone.  _

As he slumps down into a wooden chair Levi glares at his wristwatch. 3:14. _ Fucking late. _ His displeasure is further heightened when he notices the state of the table he is currently resting his elbows on. ‘Holy shit!’ he yells (earning several odd looks) as he brandishes a pack of wet tissues and rubs furiously at a spot where a goddamn stain was a few seconds ago.  _ What is it? World Let’s-all-be-against-Levi Day? Fucking hell. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to meeting in this place! God knows how many germs are on the chair, too. Eren had better get his ass here soon. That brat. _

That brat. Levi may not admit it, but he is glad to have met Eren. Despite him almost being twice Eren’s age, despite his mood swings and unrestrained violence and despite everything  _ wrong _ that defines Levi, Eren never gave up on him. Levi is certain that if not for the teenager nobody else would love him in this world.  _ Mother, perhaps, loved me,  _ thought Levi bitterly.  _ But she’s dead. Thank God I still have Eren. _

_ Eren. Eren. Eren.  _ Nothing occupies Levi’s mind more than him. Nothing.

‘Hi, may I take your order?’ Levi is cut short of his reverie by a tall bespectacled woman wearing a blue apron. Her auburn hair is haphazardly tied in a ponytail and she has rolled up her sleeves to reveal strong, tanned arms. A glance at the nametag on her uniform reveals that her name is Hange. Levi recoils instinctively and his brows furrow. He doesn’t like being startled like that. ‘Uh, that's okay, I'm waiting for-’

‘Eren, right?’

_ What. _ Levi is taken aback.  _ How did this woman know? Eren doesn’t even come to this part of town. _ He clears his throat and replies, ‘Yeah.’  _ Now will you please leave me alone? Also, you’re standing too close. _ He averts his eyes and clenches his fists underneath the table.

Hange smiles at the socially-awkward man clad in a black t-shirt and jeans. She retreats back to her counter and very soon returns with a coffee. Milk. No sugar. Levi likes it a bit bitter. ‘It's on the house. Enjoy,’ she says to the bewildered Levi as she sets down the cup, pivots around and leaves him still processing what just happened. (Too much socialising in a day takes its toll, after all.) She cleans up a table with a mop in one hand, gathering the utensils and cups in the other. Every few seconds she looks up at Levi’s back.

Levi takes a sip of his coffee in slightly offended silence. Hell, she didn’t even ask for his permission!  _ People these days… Hmm, but it’s… surprisingly good? _ He is reminded of the coffee Eren makes, when he doesn’t have to go to school. He would take two buses and go all the way to Trost district where Levi lives. ‘Don't worry, Levi, it's not like I've got anything better to do,’ Eren grins and Levi is lost in his brilliant green eyes. Levi often looks at them and thinks of forests he’s never been to because he is an unemployed man living on social benefits and surviving is a difficult challenge every day and no he cannot afford to admire such beautiful things will you kindly shut up!

And yet there’s Eren, his eyes like burning infernos-- Levi doesn’t know how green can be compared to fires, but when Eren talks his irises spark and crackle with fervour. Levi gets lost in those eyes, has always been. He is lost and Eren finds him, the lighthouse for a castaway. ‘Don't ever leave me, please? Eren?’ begged Levi on the phone once. Got drunk accidentally when he couldn't bear to be alone with his own thoughts. Eren rushed out in the middle of the night amidst the shouts from his foster mother before he slammed the door in her face. Rushing over in a taxi he called again and again, hoping he got there on time and Levi was not going to leave him behind. ‘Not yet, Levi, we still got so much to do together! Don’t you dare give up on me,’ Eren stabbed the digits on his phone and said through gritted teeth. He broke into a sweat and dialed the wrong number numerous times. He almost forgot to pay the taxi driver. When he arrived Levi was curled on the floor of his flat, surrounded by empty bottles and vomit.

_ Clink _ . ‘So, he's here again,’ says Hange nonchalantly to a blonde man near the windows as she sets a bottle of lemonade down in front of him. He is in a plain white shirt, buttoned all the way up, and a navy sweater vest. His winter jacket is draped neatly on a chair beside him. Hange arranges the menus and napkins on an adjacent table, bending over to avoid catching Levi’s eyes. Erwin nods at her words and sighs deeply, his gaze drifting over to Levi. ‘Still no progress?’ Erwin notes the sympathetic tone of Hange’s voice. ‘No.’ He says; he is a man of few words.

‘Must be hard, huh? Let’s see… 3… 4 years already and he still doesn’t… ? Poor bloke.’ Hange shakes her head and pats Erwin on the shoulder. Erwin doesn’t speak, just sits there. Pretending to not be there. To not be in the same room as Levi who does not and will never know.  _ Levi, for God’s sake, wake up already!  _ His pleads are frantic, but his face betrays nothing. The tension in his shoulders do, but apart from Hange nobody notices. Sometimes Erwin forgets how to even relax-- he’s been in the same routine for so long.

Erwin shuts his eyes and remembers to breathe. ‘Thank you, Hange, for keeping an eye on him for me.’

‘Jeez, Erwin, when have I ever not looked out for the guy? He’s almost like a brother! Well, a badass, rude, selfish and compulsive one I must say…’ In a miserable attempt at humour, Hange succeeds in making Erwin smile just a little. ‘It just gets a bit exhausting, you know?’ he manages, training his eyes on Hange. ‘Petra quit after the first year, Oluo retired, Eld and Gunther accepted a new case-- now it’s just me. Me and Levi.’ His voice becomes softer, losing the slight hint of strength he puts on in front of people. It trails down to a small sigh, a mere wisp of smoke that dissipates into the air, joining other sighs carrying other sorrows. Erwin thinks they should be weighed down by all that they hold, but they float effortlessly away. He only wishes that someday, his sighs will empty him and he becomes light enough to go with them. But one thing chains him down, one person claws at his hair and grabs his ankles and tears a large bloody gash in his heart.

It never did heal.

Levi glances up towards the street as a car honks past, wondering where the hell Eren is and why the fuck he is kept waiting so long.  _ Oh well. Might as well call him.  _ He reaches into the pockets of his jeans, fishing out the iPhone Eren bought for him for his birthday last year. He'd saved up for months, Eren said between bites of cake. ‘But I can't let you keep on using that Nokia. I just can't. I'll get cancer just by looking at it,’ Eren teased. Levi pinched Eren's cheeks for making fun of his 16-year-old mobile phone yet he clutched it as if it were a treasure.  _ What in the world did I do to deserve this kid?  _

When Levi is unsure about reality (which is often) he takes the phone out and stares at the home screen to convince himself that all of it is real. The picture of Eren wrapping his arms around Levi’s slim waist, beaming at him while he scowls, Levi crossing his arms and tilting his face away, but slightly leaning into Eren’s embrace. The photo alleviates the wild, panicked beating of his heart and replaces it with a fluttery feeling he can't describe. Sometimes he is ashamed of himself for behaving this way, but most of the time he just gazes at the phone to placate the roaring monster inside him. Scratches and dents now embed its surface and sometimes it malfunctions, shutting down even on 40% battery, but it still does its job well.

Voicemail.  _ Motherfucker.  _ Levi curses inwardly as he stands up abruptly to go look for Eren. Normally his height does not intimidate people, but his aura does. He brings with him a tempestuous cloud of thunder and lightning wherever he goes. And if looks could kill, his definitely would. Stab you with a dagger-- twice-- and slice off your limbs one by one. It’s not like he never thought of doing that to some of the oh-so-likeable individuals he has met in his life.

Chilly wind slaps Levi across the face as soon as he steps out of the comfort of the café. His fingers, warmed by the coffee just now, feel numb already and he rubs his palms together while breathing onto them. He scans the streets for Eren, but the hubbub caused by busy passers-by hinders his search (no, not because he cannot see above their heads). Undeterred, Levi shoves past a group of boisterous students and stumbles off the pavement.  _ Eren. Eren. Eren! _

Erwin cannot fathom what goes on in Levi’s mind. He is a most unapproachable, hostile, unreasonable man and yet Erwin is jealous of the boy who succeeded in breaking Levi’s shell.  _ How old are you, Erwin? Get your shit together and move on already. He won’t ever see you, not in that way.  _ When Eren promised to meet up with Levi on that fateful day 4 years ago Erwin was on a business trip. From Petra who became Levi’s nurse later, he knew that Levi could not cope with it. He had seen the lorry, seen Eren sent flying like a rag doll. He had heard screams, screams he did not realise were his own.

Erwin took his leave and remained by Levi’s hospital bed for 2 whole months before he would speak a word. He wasn’t surprised that it was ‘Eren’.

It took Levi 1 more month to get off the bed. One day, he tugged on Erwin’s shirt and asked to go to a café out of town. Erwin was overjoyed-- Levi was finally, finally okay.

‘Sure, Levi, anything you want,’ he replied, careful to not let his affection show. The doctors begrudgingly allowed him to leave the vicinity a few days of the week, provided that he had a guardian. ‘Oh good, I thought you were gonna be like those assholes and force me to stay here and rot,’ Levi was joking again. That was a good sign.

As Erwin stood up to grab a coat and his briefcase, Levi said, ‘You don't have to come with me, I’m meeting Eren.’ Erwin froze. ‘You’re… you’re meeting… E-Eren?’ stammered Erwin, scarcely believing his own words. ‘Yeah, we’ll probably have dinner too, so don’t wait for me,’ Levi said as he slipped on a grey hoodie. ‘He kept on talking about this place in Shiganshina last week. It’s probably gonna be fucking expensive. Little git,’ Levi gave an affectionate chuckle and shook his head.

_ No. Levi. No no no. Levi tell me you're joking please just tell me that you’re not being serious. NO. _

Letting out a wheezy laugh, Erwin gripped his coat so tightly his knuckles turned white. He swallowed once and said, ‘Ha ha. That’s funny, Levi, now stop messing around.’ He turned around, struggling to regain his composure and stared at Levi. ‘What the bloody hell, Erwin. I told you before, right? I spend weekends with Eren,’ he huffed indignantly. 

At that moment Erwin pounced on Levi so unexpectedly that he staggered backwards, almost hitting the bed. ‘Levi, you do know that he’s dead, right? Eren’s not meeting you today, you know that. You’re just messing with my brain, yeah, I knew it. You’re joking, because it’s been 3 months since his funeral, Levi! You were there on a wheelchair because you wouldn’t respond to anything or anybody!  _ I _ pushed your wheelchair!  _ I _ stayed with you every day!  _ Don’t you  _ fucking _ remember a thing? _ ’ Erwin’s face contorted in agony, and he was a little out of breath. Levi was motionless.

‘I-I almost thought you were never coming back,’ Erwin breathed, tugging Levi into his arms. 

After a while, Levi gently pushed Erwin away. ‘You don’t… seem fine. Are you sick? You should, you should go home and rest,’ he said with a frown. ‘I’m leaving, thanks for coming over.’

Erwin made a swift decision and said desperately, ‘W-wait, I’ll come with you.’

‘You really shouldn’t,’ said Levi, throwing Erwin a look of reproach.  _ What’s wrong with him? _

Erwin took no notice. ‘No! I think it would be best if I-’

‘Shut the hell up!’ snapped Levi, no longer concealing his annoyance. ‘Stop being so clingy! Are you stoned or something? Go the fuck home and if I catch you following me that’s totally fine, just remember that I’ll break a few of your ribs. Save your bullshit for someone who’d listen.’ With his threat hanging in the air between them, Levi whirled around and slammed the door behind him.

No amount of medication worked and when it was certain that Levi was going to need long-term treatment, he was transferred to a Home. Every Sunday for the past 4 years, Erwin witnessed Levi dressing up and attempting to leave. He reassured the staff that Levi was going to be fine with him. He never let Levi know that he followed him. Eventually Hange found out and when Erwin accidentally lost Levi, she would text him to let him know if Levi was there. And he always was, without fail.

‘Oi, Eren! What the hell, I'm over here!’ hollers Levi to a guy in a green hoodie across the street. Seeming not to have been heard, Levi clicks his tongue exasperatedly and starts sprinting towards him.

Wrapped up in conversation, Erwin barely notices as Levi exits the café. ‘Shit,’ he hisses as he lunges for the door. ‘Wha…’ Hange is left staring at an empty chair and a jacket. Registering what has happened, she quickly barrels for a window.

‘Levi, come back!’ Erwin yells, extending a hand towards the man who is locked away in his own world. ‘He isn't there, Levi Ackerman! STOP!’ Levi does not hear Erwin as charges right into the path of a lorry.

‘Eren, seriously! I've been-’

Erwin knows that it is a dream, a trick of light, a prank. Hange closes her eyes at the last second. As for Levi, he is just glad to have met Eren.

_ -waiting for you. _

The silver lining, perhaps, is that there will no longer be any waiting for anybody.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel hollow and empty and extremely sad. I promise I will post some fluff later so don't throw rotten tomatoes, please?
> 
> Inspired by: Cognitively Impaired Heichou 認知症になった兵長の話 (source: http://jaeger.co.vu/post/80746728808)
> 
> You can find me at crudemasterpiece.tumblr.com


End file.
